The Republicans will also try to show that Paul Ryan is a nice young man who does not, as the Democrats have been suggesting, want to legalize hunting for senior citizens with crossbows. This is especially important here in Florida, because this is a swing state whose voters could decide the election—assuming they can figure out where their polling places are, which, as I noted earlier, is not a given.”
Welcome to Hootersville by Dave Berry
(this is a humor piece).
“The cost of peat moss is through the thatched roof!” <— Must watch.
What if Game of Thrones had super-PACs? We looked into it.
Also, we’re pretty sure this is the first time “Twincest!” has appeared on the front page of MoJo.
Jon Stewart thinks MSNBC host Willie Geist gave contributor Mark Halperin the perfect disproving glare, “It is a perfect mix of disappointment. It has a dash of sadness.”
The Federal Election Commission approved Stephen Colbert’s Super PAC.
Today’s Must See Moment — Fast forward to 1:15 to see who else gets a glare from Geist.
Stephen Colbert prepares a pre-written letter of praise for Florida Gov. Rick Scott (R), “It is my strong belief that Rick Scott is an (adjective) Governor. His letter praising himself makes me want to (verb) up.”
Conan O’Brien, on former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich (D) being found guilty of trying to sell President Obama’s senate seat: “As the verdict was read Blagojevich’s face remained expressionless, while his hair remained ridiculous.”
Today’s Must See Moment — Fast forward to 1:10 to fill in your own Mad Lib.
Bill Maher doesn’t think Republicans should have walked out of the debt-ceiling negotiations, “Eric Cantor got mad at John Boehner because he went golfing with Obama and talked about stuff that Cantor wasn’t in on. And that’s it for this week’s episode of Real Housewives of DC.”
Jay Leno has a video of former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, “up to his old tricks” in Austria.
Today’s Must See Moment — Fast forward to 1:00, Jimmy Fallon dusts off his impersonation of Bill Clinton.
Rep. Anthony Weiner, D-N.Y., resigned on Thursday but that didn’t stop the late night hosts from making a few last jokes at his expense. Conan O’Brien: “It’s sort of a good news, bad news thing. The good news is that Congressman Weiner resigned. The bad news, he made the announcement shirtless over Skype.”
Today’s Must See Moment — Fast Forward to 1:00, Jimmy Kimmel isn’t sure that Weiner will be able to change his ways.
Keith Olbermann stops by the Colbert Report but isn’t “man enough” to admit he lost to FNC host Bill O’Reilly.
President Obama can’t keep up his “spicy pronunciation” during his state visit to Puerto Rico.
Today’s Must See Moment — Fast forward to 2:00 for an invite to the White House Congressional Picnic.
Rep. Michele Bachmann’s, R-Minn., announcement during the Republican debate shocked Stephen Colbert: “Someone in a presidential debate is running for president. That’s like going to a wedding and the couple announces they’ve applied for a marriage license.”
Conan O’Brien thought the debate participants were obsessed with who had the biggest family.
Today’s Must See Moment — Fast forward to 0:25, even CNN debate moderator John King can’t telling the Republican candidates apart.
Conan O’Brien unveils the latest batch of scandalous photos of Rep. Anthony Weiner, D-N.Y.
Jon Stewart, on the media coverage of the released Sarah Palin emails, “That wasn’t even a question. It was like some bizarre existential riddle.”
Today’s Must See Moment — Fast forward to 2:00, some voters are still supporting Weiner.
